Men Are Cancelled

IT’S PRETTY short. It’s a true story given some artistic licence. Used this to teach my 11th grade kids the use of adianeota. It was fun to use this to teach. I started by asking who had had a bad weekend. After they’d gone through this finding literary devices and I’d explained adianoeta, I told them this was a true story. They had me shoot a quick video to send to Jess telling her that Wayne is trash. And that men are cancelled.

IT WAS a quiet Friday afternoon. The students had been bundled into the buses, clambered into their cars or idled along the avenue in the lazy heat of the September sun. The campus was quiet except for the shuffle of papers as I set to work, reclaiming my classroom from the war zone it now resembled. Burnt umber rays refracted through the glass giving life to soft rainbows, careless in their beauty.

But then my phone awoke: ping! Jess was in Greece? I hadn’t known she was on vacation but our daily messaging had dropped off since she met Wayne. I read further. It was over.

She was at their hotel, she said, but they were flying home tomorrow. A week earlier than planned. He had visited his ex-girlfriend the day before they flew. He was picking up his clothes. He hadn’t realized the feelings he still had for her. It was over.

She had ended her relationship for him. She had given him a key to her apartment. She had met his parents.

It was over, she said, alone in the hotel lobby. He woke me up this morning to break up with me. I had to wake up to it. He couldn’t wait – the idiot actually woke me.

I’m awake now.

 Photograph: shutterstock.com

By Joanna Petersen

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